I'm not okay - I need to up my meds
There just aren't words. At least not appropriate words that I can muster right now.
I am prevented from discussing much of this case, but I will give it to you in a nutshell.
Psychotic patient self-aborts 32 week fetus.
Professionally, I am having a hard time dealing with this one; everything from how it managed to occur on the unit, to how on earth can you face a patient like that, with an open mind, objectivity and empathy?
Personally, I'll tell you this much: I'm am a mess.
I have tried to hear the information, file it away in my private mental library and lock it deep inside that little repressed safe. The door won't latch.
As a woman who has battled secondary infertility, and multiple losses, I am downright pissed.
As I am facing the 2nd anniversary of my stillborn son, 35 weeks, buried at the feet of his grandfather, I am absolutely nauseous knowing the mistreatment that baby received at the hands of his mother.
As a nurse, I can't wrap my head around this one. It cuts way to close to home, and I feel it is absolutely OK for me to step away from any and all involvement.
I am prevented from discussing much of this case, but I will give it to you in a nutshell.
Psychotic patient self-aborts 32 week fetus.
Professionally, I am having a hard time dealing with this one; everything from how it managed to occur on the unit, to how on earth can you face a patient like that, with an open mind, objectivity and empathy?
Personally, I'll tell you this much: I'm am a mess.
I have tried to hear the information, file it away in my private mental library and lock it deep inside that little repressed safe. The door won't latch.
As a woman who has battled secondary infertility, and multiple losses, I am downright pissed.
As I am facing the 2nd anniversary of my stillborn son, 35 weeks, buried at the feet of his grandfather, I am absolutely nauseous knowing the mistreatment that baby received at the hands of his mother.
As a nurse, I can't wrap my head around this one. It cuts way to close to home, and I feel it is absolutely OK for me to step away from any and all involvement.
posted by Julie, RN at 2/10/2007 01:26:00 AM
11 Comments:
You dear soul...I cannot even begin to understand how this must make you feel, bu as a woman I share the heart ache...
Tough tough.
It is good you can take a step back and take the time you need.
Life sure sucks some times...
As a mom, I can totally identify with your feeling that life is immensely valuable. As a nurse, I would suggest that psychotic has a lot to do with this patient's behavior and action.
Given the small window into your past experiences trying to conceive and losing your precious son, I would encourage you to take care of yourself and try to explore your feelings. It's too easy to be affected and become angry and hardened (not to mention burnt out).
There are some things we 'see' or experience as nurses that are truly heinous. God bless you.
Of course you have every right to step away. After all, you are a human first, nurse second......something a lot of people seem to forget. Nurses are not like the clergy, we are not "called" to the profession in the way that clergy are. There is no oath we take to put all of those who come into our path ahead of ourselves.
God Bless you
Sheesh, you only gave a small nutshell of the incident, and I am shocked. I feel sad for the unborn child, but it would appear that his/her life was doomed being conceived by a psychotic mother. I am sorry for all parties who had to witness something like this.
Wow. Step away, take large gulps of air, and here is a very big
***HUG***
/jo
Wow, is this women schizophrenic? There has to be something that led this woman to act like that. No one in their right mind could do whatever she did.
I think it's only natural for you to feel the way you do about this incident, especially given your history of loss.
You have every right to step away, in fact, you need to step back and take care of yourself. Stuff like that is really hard to deal with. I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
MJ
(I like the new format of the blog, btw...easier read...:) )
/jo
Hey girl--it's been a while since you posted. You okay?
This is just so awful - too awful for words.
As an RN with major fertility issues I struggled many times with the parents who presented at ED with neglected or abused children. One woman denied her pregnancy until she gave birth in a toilet and left her baby submerged until the ambos arrived. Sufficed to say the baby sustained a catastrophic brain injury and later died.
It was while treating these families that I learnt to (for want of a better term) fake caring and concern. I now wonder whether I wouldn't have been better to have just stepped away, but unfortunately that wasn't an option.
I just wonder who takes care of the carers?
Hugs,
Lisa
now proud mum to Mitch & Harry
born at 24.6 weeks
I am not in the medical field as some of your commenters are, and I have no idea how you could make urself have an abortion, (didn't even know it was possible!). I imagine it would have to be something extreme.
Anyway, I just don't know how med people witness the things you do. I for one, want to thank you and let you know that we laymen really appreciate it.
Take care. Please visit my blog for a much need laugh. and don't forget to leave a comment.
Post a Comment
<< Home